Words people carried until they left them here.

To You

I finally stopped checking

I used to check your page every night. Then one day I forgot. I did not notice until a week later.

To Dad

I became easy to avoid being a burden

You always said I was the easy child. I was not easy. I was scared to need anything.

To Claire

I wish we had fought for it

We let one bad season become the end of everything. I wish one of us had been brave enough to call.

To Fourteen-year-old me

You did not ruin everything

You made mistakes because you were hurting and nobody asked why. You did not ruin everything. There was still so much life waiting for you.

To Future me

Do not settle because you are tired

Being tired is not the same as being done. Please do not choose a life that makes you smaller just because it feels easier today.

To Me

Stop apologizing for the no

No is a full answer. You do not have to build a courtroom case every time you protect your peace.

I knew before I admitted it

I knew something had changed. I felt it in the pauses, the shorter answers, the way you stopped asking questions. I kept pretending because the truth felt too final.

To the version of church that hurt me

I still believe in God. I just do not believe that what happened to me was holy.

To R

I would still choose the good parts

If I could go back, I would still choose the mornings, the long drives, the stupid grocery store dances, and the way you said my name when you were tired. I would not choose t...

I stopped waiting for you to understand

For a long time, I thought healing meant you finally understood what you did. It does not. Healing is me no longer needing your understanding.

To Mom

I still talk to you in the car

I tell you things while I drive because that is when the missing gets loud. I know nobody is answering. I still leave space for you anyway.

To C

We were not a mistake

We were not forever, but we were not a mistake either. I learned how deeply I could love, and how much I could survive.

To Mom

I wish you had asked one more question

When I said I was fine, I wish you had asked again. I know I was hard to reach. I also know I was still hoping you would try.

To Mia

I miss who we were together

I do not know if we would even recognize each other now. I just know I miss the girls we were before life got complicated.

To Me

You are allowed to start over

You do not need permission from the people who benefited from the old version of you.

To My little one

To the baby I never got to meet

You were here for such a short time, but you changed the shape of my heart. People moved on quickly because they never knew you. I did know you, in the only way I could. I kne...