To You
I Still Leave the Porch Light On
I do not leave the porch light on because I think you are coming back. I know better now. I leave it on because some habits begin as hope and slowly turn into memory.
There was a time when I could hear your truck before it reached the corner. I would put down whatever I was doing and pretend I had not been waiting. You always knew. You would smile before you even opened the door.
I miss ordinary things more than the big things. Your coffee cup beside mine. The way you checked the locks twice. The terrible songs you sang while washing dishes. None of it felt important then. Now those are the pieces that return when the house gets quiet.
I still love you. That is the truth I no longer fight. But love does not mean I must keep standing in the same doorway. I can love what we were and still choose the life that is here.
Tonight the porch light is on. Tomorrow it may not be. Either way, I am learning how to come home to myself.
There was a time when I could hear your truck before it reached the corner. I would put down whatever I was doing and pretend I had not been waiting. You always knew. You would smile before you even opened the door.
I miss ordinary things more than the big things. Your coffee cup beside mine. The way you checked the locks twice. The terrible songs you sang while washing dishes. None of it felt important then. Now those are the pieces that return when the house gets quiet.
I still love you. That is the truth I no longer fight. But love does not mean I must keep standing in the same doorway. I can love what we were and still choose the life that is here.
Tonight the porch light is on. Tomorrow it may not be. Either way, I am learning how to come home to myself.
