To Chassifer
a few things I want you to know
I hope you know that I love you because you're you. no big reason, no “because you're this” or “because you do this.” I just love you because you're you. I know saying “I love you” is such a big thing to say, but it's true. you made me love you without even trying to. I wanted to heal you, to make you feel loved, cared for, and understood. I wanted you to know that you never had to deal with everything alone.
you became my only exception. I pushed people away before, even people I cared about, but with you, I tried so hard not to. I don't even know why it was so different with you, but I was so comfortable with you. I could actually be vulnerable around you, and you got to see a side of me that almost no one ever gets to see. and I'm genuinely so grateful for that.
being close with you made me so happy. like genuinely happy. I loved all those little things between us, even the things that probably seemed so normal. being called “baby” by you was so comforting to me, and I don't think you ever realized how much that meant to me just because it was you saying it.
I don't think I'll ever completely lose the soft spot I have for you. maybe someday I'll move on, maybe I won't fully, I don't really know. but I know I'll never regret getting to know you or getting as close to you as we did. those moments meant so much to me, and I'll always be grateful that I got to experience them with you.
I just wish you knew how much I genuinely cared about you. I never wanted anything from you other than for you to be okay. I wanted to be someone you could run to when things got messy, someone you could talk to when something was bothering you, someone who would stay and listen.
and I wish you knew that you were never a burden. you're enough, always. you're never too much, and I hope you know that. I just liked you for being you. and even now, after everything, I still do.
and I hope you know how beautiful you are, too.
I don't think words could ever, ever describe it. I could sit here and try to find every possible word to describe you, but somehow none of them would ever feel like enough. you're the kind of beautiful that makes words feel so small.
and I'm not just talking about how you look. obviously, I think you're so pretty, but it's so much more than that. it's the way you are, the way you care, the little things you do without even realizing them. there's just something about you that I don't know how to explain.
I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I wish you could see what I see whenever I look at you, because maybe then you'd understand why I think you're so beautiful.
sometimes I wish I could somehow show you what I mean, because no matter how many times I say it, I feel like the words never really capture it. “beautiful” just doesn't feel like enough when I'm talking about you.
I could write a thousand words about you and still feel like I haven't said enough. I just hope you know that you're beautiful in a way I don't think I'll ever be able to fully put into words.
I'm so, so grateful for you, chakol. more than I could ever put into words.
you became my only exception. I pushed people away before, even people I cared about, but with you, I tried so hard not to. I don't even know why it was so different with you, but I was so comfortable with you. I could actually be vulnerable around you, and you got to see a side of me that almost no one ever gets to see. and I'm genuinely so grateful for that.
being close with you made me so happy. like genuinely happy. I loved all those little things between us, even the things that probably seemed so normal. being called “baby” by you was so comforting to me, and I don't think you ever realized how much that meant to me just because it was you saying it.
I don't think I'll ever completely lose the soft spot I have for you. maybe someday I'll move on, maybe I won't fully, I don't really know. but I know I'll never regret getting to know you or getting as close to you as we did. those moments meant so much to me, and I'll always be grateful that I got to experience them with you.
I just wish you knew how much I genuinely cared about you. I never wanted anything from you other than for you to be okay. I wanted to be someone you could run to when things got messy, someone you could talk to when something was bothering you, someone who would stay and listen.
and I wish you knew that you were never a burden. you're enough, always. you're never too much, and I hope you know that. I just liked you for being you. and even now, after everything, I still do.
and I hope you know how beautiful you are, too.
I don't think words could ever, ever describe it. I could sit here and try to find every possible word to describe you, but somehow none of them would ever feel like enough. you're the kind of beautiful that makes words feel so small.
and I'm not just talking about how you look. obviously, I think you're so pretty, but it's so much more than that. it's the way you are, the way you care, the little things you do without even realizing them. there's just something about you that I don't know how to explain.
I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. I wish you could see what I see whenever I look at you, because maybe then you'd understand why I think you're so beautiful.
sometimes I wish I could somehow show you what I mean, because no matter how many times I say it, I feel like the words never really capture it. “beautiful” just doesn't feel like enough when I'm talking about you.
I could write a thousand words about you and still feel like I haven't said enough. I just hope you know that you're beautiful in a way I don't think I'll ever be able to fully put into words.
I'm so, so grateful for you, chakol. more than I could ever put into words.
